BATS!

Bats are great. In every non-Arctic region of the world, some species of bat is actively supporting the ecosystem and making the planet a happier place. Yes, unless you live in, like, a research lab in Antarctica or within spitting distance of Santa Claus or something, you have bats to thank for being upstanding members of your local ecology.

Reasons bats are great

• Bats are the only mammals capable of true flight. Some other mammals, such as flying squirrels, can glide for short distances, but only bats have wings powerful enough to propel them through the air.
• There are over 1,400 species of bat discovered so far. There's a crazy amount of biodiversity inside this order that reflects how bats have carved out their niche in every region.
• The two main classifications of bat are megabats (Megachiroptera) and microbats (Microchiroptera)*. Megabats, or fruit bats, look like winged bear/canine hybrids with adorable faces. Microbats have a variety of diets and look like winged chicken nuggets.
• Insectivorous microbats' diets can include local pests. For example, the evening bat eats spotted cucumber beetles, a blight on crops in the eastern United States. Many species will also eat other common bugs, including mosquitoes and wasps.
• Bats can also help plant populations, especially in tropical climates. Bats who eat nectar help pollinate plants, and those who eat fruit spread fruit seeds.
• Bats are cute. Whether they're fuzzy fruit-eating sky puppies or strange toasted marshmallows, there's at least one species of bat worthy of an "awww!"
• A bat won New Zealand's Bird of the Year award in 2021. Specifically, it was the long-tailed bat, or pekapeka-tou-roa. Conga rats, buddy!

*There was a (relatively recent) proposed reorganization of order Chiroptera into the suborders Yinpterochiroptera and Yangchiroptera. The former includes megabats plus five microbat families; the latter is the remainder of the microbats. It's still up for debate whether this is more taxonomically accurate than the older mega/micro split we had before.

#yangbat

Famous bats

Did you know bats are natural superstars? It's true! Just ask any of these bats.

Fictional bats

• Stellaluna, the epauletted fruit bat who got separated from her family and lived with a family of birds for a time. I remember the children's book being in every book fair catalog.
• The bats in the Brian Lies series of bat books, which includes Bats at the Beach, Bats in the Library, Bats at the Ballgame, and Bats in the Band. They're about a bunch of bats having fun! I'm more likely to be in the library, myself.
• Batty Koda, the bat from FernGully. Honestly, I haven't seen the movie, but Robin Williams voicing a batty bat is enough to pique my interest.

Real bats

• Statler, a flying fox and one of the oldest bats on record. He was one of the Michigan 90 (CW: descriptions of animal abuse and neglect), a whole batch of bats Bat World Sanctuary rescued from an organization that claimed to help bats but mistreated those in their care. He was one of the oldest in the bunch.
  The life expectancy for most of the Michigan 90 was 25 years in captivity—it was highly unlikely any of them could be rehabilitated and released at that point—but Statler far outlived that. Thanks to the most adorable retirement care ever captured on camera, he was able to keep munching fruit, "flying," and relaxing in his hammock until the ripe old age of 34.
• Space Bat, a free-tailed bat and the only bat brave enough to hitch a ride on a rocket to outer space. He latched onto the space shuttle Discovery during its takeoff in 2009, and as the official story goes, he got shaken off and fell into the rocket exhaust. Don't believe the so-called "experts," though, I believe that dang bat done made himself our interplanetary ambassador. Godspeed, Space Bat.

Myths about bats

Unfortunately, bats have come to be associated with some unsavory or untrue qualities. We gotta set the record straight.

Myth: Bats are just flying rats.

Fact: Bats are in their own taxonomic order, Chiroptera, and are genetically distinct from rodents. Rats are cool, too, they're just not related.

Myth: Bats are blind.

Fact: bats have a range of vision qualities, but most can see as well as humans. Yes, with their eyes.

Myth: Bats are all vampires and want your blood.

There are only three species of bat that drink blood, most notably the common vampire bat. They're all native to Central and South America. Occasionally, you may find some as far north as the Texas–Mexico border.

Vampire bats typically hunt at night and go for livestock. By "hunting," I mean they look for sleeping animals, take about a teaspoon of blood, and leave—not exactly the mark of an apex predator. Starving bats "beg" for food within their colony, but they don't "attack" animals, certainly not humans.

Fact: vampirism in bats is the exception, not the rule. Your blood's not at risk from bats.

Myth: Bats will give you rabies.

The CDC has stated that most bats don't have rabies. Only less than one percent of bats will contract rabies, which is a much lower estimate than the ~10% figure given in the past.

A quick note about rabies itself: exposure occurs when a human comes into contact with a pathogen, such as when receiving a bite from an infected animal. If the virus is given time to incubate (one to three months), then it may become a rabies infection, which is what official sources will call a "case." It's the difference between someone sneezing on you and actually coming down with a cold. Because surviving a full rabies infection is nigh-impossible with current medicine, the real point of concern is exposure and getting proactive treatment as soon after exposure as possible.

Worldwide, about 15 million people receive a post-bite vaccination annually. The vast majority of these exposures come from bites from unvaccinated dogs, which is more common in areas where pet vaccination isn't as widely practiced. About 60,000 US residents receive the rabies shot each year, but there haven't been more than ten US cases in a year for about 70 years. Of those cases, zero to two per year can be directly attributed to bat bites.

I should also mention that bites are virtually the only way a bat can transmit rabies. Just seeing one fly past you won't give you rabies, nor will finding one in your attic.

Fact: most bats don't have rabies, but you should get vaccinated anyway if one bites you just as you would with any other animal bite. I certainly don't have rabies, anyway.

Myth: Bats are scary.

Does this look like the face of terror?

Microbats are, well, micro. And still precious.

Have you ever seen a batface?

Admittedly, it would scare most people to have a fuzzy flapping thing fly at their face or get stuck in their hair. It's also easy to bring up fruit bats as a counterexample because their faces are sorta puppy-like and oh my gosh have you seen those videos of swaddled-up rescues? Microbats aren't as conventionally cute, but you just gotta look at these little guys. If you're feeling extra adventurous, just run a web search for pictures of bats. (Of course, vampire bats may hog the spotlight a bit.)

Unless you're a talking banana or a tasty beetle, they're more scared of you than you are of them. They eat bugs, pollen, and fruit, but not people. Still, it's wise to be cautious of wild animals and understandable to get a little frazzled if you find one lost in your basement. Luckily, there are bat rescue experts out there who can handle them safely. If you do need to remove a bat from your property, please try to find either a bat rescue or a wildlife rehabilitation organization to pick them up first. Pest control will not be so kind.

Fact: bats are mostly harmless just like the rest of us Earthlings.

Myth: Bats are devoted servants of Camazotz and in league with the underworld. They seek to restore the ancient demon city of Xibalba to its former glory and reinstate ritual sacrifice.

Absolutely not.

Fact: I hope anyone who believes this nonsense gets sent to the Bat House twice.

Ways you can help bats

• Donate to me, an actual bat a bat sanctuary. There are a number of bat sanctuaries and rescue operations that could use your support in caring for injured and sick bats. I would recommend finding one in your area or close to it.
  Bat World Sanctuary not only has a rescuer locator that can help with your search, but they also have a wealth of knowledge on bats that I plundered to help write this page. They absolutely deserve support as well!
• Take down bird netting, barbed wire, and anything that might tangle up a bat. It's a common complaint of bat carer Megabattie in Australia that they often find their rescues tangled in netting or fencing. Take 'em down.
• Have unwanted bats relocated, not exterminated. Keeping bat populations healthy is important for countless ecosystems. Even if they've roosted in your siding, it's better to have them moved than to be treated like pests. This map can help you find a rescuer.
• Spread awareness of endangered bat species. When we lose a species, including bats, we all suffer for it.
• Spread awareness of bats in general. Bats are great, and everyone should know! Don't let other people perpetuate misconceptions about bats. Be the voice of truth.
• Build a bat house. If you have the space for it, a bat house (not to be confused with a bathhouse) provides a nice home for a small colony of bats. In return, you may get some free pest control!
  Bat Conservation and Management sells kits and pre-built bat houses.

What I like about bats

A bat is my main fursona over all species I could have picked because bats align the closest with my personality and what kinds of characters I like, conceptually and aesthetically. I always gravitate towards characters with more finesse than might and those that are better improvisers than professors. When making my 'sona, I almost made him lithe and athletic instead of a bit pudgy for that reason, though I ultimately settled on making him look more like myself. Bats, I think, naturally fit the "rogue" mold due to their nocturnal habits and lighter frames.

I also just like bats as animals. There are so many photos of cheerful-looking bats out there, so many videos of rescued bats munching away on bugs or fruit, it's hard not to love those batty grins. Plus, I've grown to appreciate characters with more distinctive features, such as bat ears or some of the more unique sets of bat features—Honduran fruit-eating bats, anyone?

Facts about anthropomorphic bats

Bats are even battier with sapience!